Things I Will Not Miss

I leave Spain on Friday. Though I will be glad to see my family and friends again, leaving Arcos will be like ripping out a small piece of my heart. Thus, to make myself feel better, I’ve compiled a list of things I will NOT miss.

1. Having to wait for a day that is warm, sunny, and dry enough to do laundry (this day having to correspond to a day I wasn’t in school).
2. For that matter, the laundry machine and the long process of getting its door open (this involved a small silver spoon—the laundry spoon—that we used to jimmy the catch)
3. The ants that have taken over the apartment floor, coupled with the fact that I now sleep on the floor due to a broken bed-frame.
4. Relying on a small and inefficient gas tank for hot showers—and then hoping they’re not TOO hot.
5. Dubbed movies.
6. Trying to avoid bird poop while passing underneath the flying buttresses of St. Mary’s on the way to school (thereby avoiding being the object of ridicule)
7. Not understanding people a lot of the time.
8. Having a terrible internet connection.
9. The creepy guy.
10. The gray cat upstairs and how he’s always on the terrace when I’m wearing black clothes.
11. The piercing bark of the dog downstairs (and his young owner calling out “Blanky!” at all hours).
12. The construction that started just outside my window.
13. Feeling like an outsider.
14. Carrying groceries up the hill.

Um, I think that's it. Meaning that everything else currently in my life I am either slightly indifferent to or will desperately miss. Writing this list has only made me more aware of what I WILL miss. Shoot.

Arcos' Darwin Awards

To catch the bus to Sevilla on Valentine's Day, I woke up at 6 am and traveled downhill through my quiet, darkened town. Though I've been up that early before to catch other buses and have never felt anything but safe, I felt uneasy this time. To add to my unease, or perhaps justifying it, I passed a glasses shop and saw broken glass on the sidewalk. Then, a large rock. And a hole in the window just in front of a display case, the Prada glasses missing. I felt unnerved enough (the crime had obviously happened in the past few hours) to quicken my pace, start to look over my shoulder and make my way to the lighted part of the street.

A week later, the criminals were apprehended. They were attempting to break into the OTHER glasses shop in Arcos, just across the street from the first, on a Friday at the same time as the first burglary. I can only imagine they did it with the same rock.

I sat down with a friend earlier today who said this wasn't the first time a burglar showed a lack of savviness in Arcos. Last summer an Arcense robbed a bank, made off with several thousand Euros, and then...hung around in Arcos. Now, Arcos is a small town. It wasn't hard to figure out who'd committed the theft. But he wasn't eager to skip town. In fact, his first crime had gone so well he decided to try it again. He held up a restaurant in the old town, using only white face paint as a disguise. He was caught soon afterward.

The friend who was telling me this story said his own house had been broken into at one point. He got off lucky, he said. Ignoring a plasma-screen TV, several pieces of very expensive furniture (this friend is in the business of remodeling homes, included interior decorations), and other items with acknowledgable value, the thieves took:
1) 2 plastic deck chairs
2) a large skillet
3) a bread-maker

You can tell these thieves weren't in it for black market resell value...they were just in the mood for a back-porch bread-filled barbecue.

How to Not Get Robbed in Sevilla

Step One: Avoid going to Sevilla.
Step Two (Assuming you've bypassed Step One): Avoid the most touristy locations.
Step Three: If you must be a tourist, at least avoid these locations at siesta time (3-5 pm) when the only people out are tourists and thieves.
Step Four: If you must be in a touristy location at siesta time, certainly keep track of your personal belongings at all times. For instance, avoid looking away from your bag, especially if you do not have an arm through the straps (scratch that: always have an arm through your bag straps, no matter what).
Step Five: Avoid being distracted by things like seeing your boyfriend for the first time in three months.
Step Six: Enjoy the peace of mind you now have about not being robbed in Sevilla!

Of course, I did this research the hard way and, as Mom likes to say during Mini-Golf when the colorful ball narrowly misses the hole, I wuz ROBBED. (Echoes of Mom's gangster "You wuz ROBBED!" now usher forth). Patrick, the aforementioned hadn't-seen-him-in-three-months-boyfriend, and I were in the Plaza Espana around 4 pm, we were eating truffles, and some guy distracted us with some bullshit question about directions while his pal made off with my bag. I noticed immediately and Patrick took off running. I stayed behind with Patrick's stuff in near panic ("Oh shit, my wallet...oh shit, my cellphone...oh shit, my iPod...oh SHIT my passport"). A few minutes later, Patrick reappeared disheveled, bagless. Then a shout from behind him, he went off running again, and reappeared a minute later, bagful. I almost cried with joy. Did I actually cry? It's likely. Everything was in my bag except my wallet, which was something I could deal with losing (no credit cards, not much money, etc).

Patrick explained, as we, exhausted, found a bus back to Arcos (good ol' safe Arcos) that he chased the thief across extremely busy streets of traffic and hedges, shouting "Thief!!" extremely loudly all the while. When the thief dropped my unnecessarily heavy bag (thinking he'd made off with the most important thing by taking my wallet), some kind shopkeeper noticed and made sure the bag got back to Patrick.

So, Step One of How to Deal With Getting Robbed in Sevilla: Find a hero and keep him close by.